


Choices

by Janina, mynameisnoneya



Series: At Her Majesty's Service [8]
Category: A Song of Ice and Fire - George R. R. Martin, game of thrones
Genre: F/M, I hate tags, Jealousy, Pining, Smut, Though not in this chapter
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-01
Updated: 2020-12-01
Packaged: 2021-03-09 19:08:35
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,583
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27821266
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Janina/pseuds/Janina, https://archiveofourown.org/users/mynameisnoneya/pseuds/mynameisnoneya
Summary: Jaime begins his wooing.
Relationships: Jaime Lannister/Sansa Stark
Series: At Her Majesty's Service [8]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2002744
Comments: 42
Kudos: 80





	Choices

**Author's Note:**

> gorgeous picset by mynameisnoneya!
> 
> [](https://imgur.com/wsnQ75K)  
> 

Sansa is just about ready to hear petitions the next afternoon when she hears raised voices outside her door that sound very much like Jaime and Jon.

“Did you not hear me when I said she doesn’t want to be bothered?” she hears Jaime say.

“And that probably applies to _you_ and not to me!” Jon says.

And then she can’t make out anything they are saying because they are shouting over each other.

She strides to the door quickly and opens it to find the two men glaring at each other. “What is happening out here?” she demands

Both men look her way, both of them appearing chagrined. They start speaking at the same time and when they realize that, they each start to speak louder until they are not even looking at her anymore but at each other as they shout louder and louder to be heard.

“Enough!” she shouts over them, using her very firm Queen voice.

They stop and look at her again. They apologize at the same time, and before they can start arguing again, Sansa looks at Jaime. “Please tell me what the problem is, Jaime.”

She doesn’t miss the smirk he sends Jon’s way and Sansa rolls her eyes. He misses it. “Well, Sansa--”

“She is your Queen and you’ll address her as such,” Jon snarls.

Sansa holds up a hand in Jon’s direction and he quiets. “Jaime,” she says.

“Jon wanted to come in and talk to you before hearing petitions, but I knew you were still preparing for them.” He looks over at Jon as he says pointedly, “I also know that you like time alone in quiet before hearing them. I wanted to give _my Queen_ what she needed.”

“You don’t know what she needs,” Jon growls.

Sansa wants to retort _And you think you do?_ but she doesn’t. Instead, she says, “The two of you shouting at each other didn’t help in that regard.”

“I’m sorry, Sansa,” Jaime murmurs.

“I am sorry, Sansa,” Jon also murmurs. Then he says, “May I escort you to the Great Hall?”

She nods. “You may.”

Now it’s Jon's turn to smirk at Jaime. She rolls her eyes again.

Jaime falls in step behind them and she swears she can feel his eyes boring into her. Just as they reach the Great Hall, Jaime grips her hand and pulls her back away from the door and into the hallway while Jon, thinking Sansa is still with him, enters the Great Hall.

“Remember when I made you peak on my face after the last round of petitions?” he rasps. “You were on that throne and I was under your skirt.”

Sansa gapes at him, knowing her face must be crimson considering how hot it feels.

“If you need that again later,” he drawls, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear. “Just let me know.” He nods toward the open doors to the Great Hall. “You better get in there before Jon shits dragonglass.”

Now she had to cover her mouth before barking out a laugh while Jaime turned her around and pushed her gently toward the door - with his hand on her ass.

xxxxxxx

Sansa thumbs through the petitions in front of her before the next one is heard. She stops when a slip of paper falls from the pile. It’s smaller than the rest and she wonders where it came from and how she’d missed it earlier.

She nearly gasps when she notices Jaime’s scrawl across the paper and the message that he’d written: _You are so beautiful when you fall asleep in my arms. I want to see you awaken in them with the sun, my love._

“Sansa?” Jon asks from beside her. “Are you well? What is that?”

Sansa presses the parchment to her chest. “It’s nothing. Just a note I left for myself,” she says.

Jon doesn’t look like he believes her but she doesn’t rightly care if he does or not. She’d always dreamed about getting love notes from a suitor as a child and now here she had one. From a knight in her Queensguard.

Her heart races and she wants to weep at the sheer sweetness of it.

She hears Jaime clear his throat and she peeks over her shoulder at him. Their eyes meet and the heat and love in his would bring her to her knees if she wasn’t already seated.

The door opens to let in another of the small folk and Sansa hurriedly folds up the parchment and tucks it inside the front of her dress. Jaime clears his throat again and she smiles. She can feel from here that he liked that.

xxxxxxxx

Later, tired and with her head hurting after long hours hearing petitions, Jon asks if he can escort her to her bedchamber. Sansa declines; she prefers fresh air and the Godswood instead and prefers to be alone.

Or as alone as she can be with Jaime following her. She doesn’t comment on how he’s taken his post with her this day and not Brienne. He keeps his distance though; he doesn’t even speak and for that Sansa is grateful. When she sits upon the stone bench in the Godswood and shuts her eyes to blot out the sun, she heaves a deep breath of relief.

She gives herself some time to let the coolness in the air settle over her and the crisp air to clear her mind and headache. She sighs again and finds herself praying: _Holy Mother, font of grace, please help me learn the secrets of my heart. Whom do I love - Jaime or Jon?_

She opens her eyes and glances over her shoulder at Jaime who is looking beyond her, watching for any potential enemy. He doesn’t even look at her and she knows it’s because he wishes to give her as much privacy as he can grant her.

She loves him for that.

She stiffens. Wait. Love?

She shakes her head - it was meant in affection for doing his duty and respecting her need for quiet.

But then she remembers what he had confessed to her. How he wanted her to become his wife. What kind of husband would Jaime Lannister be? Did he know how to be one after spending so much time loving his sister?

Her nose crinkles; she doesn’t want to think about Cersei.

She opens her mouth to ask him what he thought being wed to her would look like, but then decides against it because she does not want to give him hope. However, her mind can not stop from imagining it. What she imagines is the picture he offered her in his note, of her waking up in his arms every morning.

She is oftentimes chilly in the morning and constantly pulling the furs up to her chin. Jaime is always hot like the fire he stokes in her fireplace in the evening. She snuggles right up to him and is warmed instantly. Their days would probably be much like they are now, with her seeing to her duties and him seeing to his. Much of his time is beside her, but if they were married he wouldn’t be a guard standing over her or a silent sentinel beside her. He would be her consort. He’d have his own duties, but he would be beside her as her husband and as her husband, she’d want to consult with him on what he thought. She knew he had opinions and thoughts on how some things should be run. She’d spoken at length with him about how the small folk could earn more coin in Wintertown.

Then in the evening they would retire to their chambers and spend time together talking as they did now, or making love all night - also as they did now.

She can see it so clearly and it feels so...so _right_ that she feels as though her heart might leap from her chest. She then tries to think of what it would be like with Jon and...and she sees them arguing. Sees him brooding. Sees no smiling, no real joy - sees Jaime leaving her even though he had said he would not.

She feels stricken at the thought of Jaime ever leaving her. How would she be able to bear that? He makes her laugh, he sees her as a fully capable Queen whereas she is not sure Jon does. He never really trusted her, did he?

And she doesn’t trust him. Not fully. Not as she had once. He’d ruined that. The reasons why don’t matter to her anymore. She told him not to go see Daenerys and he had anyway. He never listened… _listens_.

Not that Jaime isn’t headstrong too, but….but…

But she is more willing to put up with his stubbornness than Jon’s. Jon can just be downright unreasonable and she finds it absolutely infuriating. At least with Jaime they can have a conversation about it.

She bites her lip and thinks, _Is it lust for Jaime that makes me think this way? I haven’t even kissed Jon… and do I want to?_

She sighs, this time in frustration. Taking care of Winterfell and her people is much easier than trying to figure out the inner workings of her heart and her mind. And the one person she wants to ask for help is the one man who is standing behind her right now, watching over her, and waiting for her decision.


End file.
